Summer Days Bleach Style!
by NoMangaOrAnimeEqualsDead
Summary: Cracky oneshots well, mild crack. Uh, somewhat related, maybe not? They're days of summer basically. So what's going on during them? Yeah, summary is bad, but it's all humor. Maybe I'll add romance. Depends on what you want to see in this story. Yes, YOU. DEPENDS ON YOU. Moving on. T for language -ahem, Rukia and Ichigo-, slight violence and just paranoia on my part. Enjoy!
1. Ready Set START!

_50 Days of Summer_

_Scenarios for the Average Shipper_

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN BLEACH. JUST THESE IDEAS. THE END.**

**Alright, now that that's done, we can now begin 50 Days of Summer or simply put, Summer Days. A series of possibly related (though mostly not) oneshots filled with crack. Enjoy~! (I will _try _my absolute _hardest_ to update everyday. But I have a very busy summer, so there may be delays, but on those days I'll post the chapters that were supposed to be updated previously so you're all still getting the chapters accordingly).**

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Day 0

_Brrrrriiiinnng!_

A signal? An alarm? Sure; if those mean that school's let out for the final time of the year.

T'is only been minutes since the children have been let out; sorry, teenagers, they're not quite children…

"I feel like someone just insulted me somewhere in the world…"

"Are you sure your midget radar didn't pick up the thought that everyone else has in their head when they see you?" The orange-haired strawberry-named man snorted at the much shorter raven haired amethyst woman when he walked up to her, bag slung over his shoulder and slouching as usual. Said woman proceeded to beat the strawberry into the ground with her bare hands (and a few hits from her bag for extra measure), but what's a friendly fight, right?

"Okay, now _I_ feel like someone just implied something about us…" Ichigo muttered, annoyed at the weird nagging feeling he was having in the back of his head.

"Who cares, idiot? Can we stop by the arcade? I found out they have a new Chappy prize!" Rukia cheered, spinning around happily while (surprise, surprise) holding a Chappy doll that Keigo had given to her that morning.

An aggravated sigh answered her excited plead. "Wonder how long it'll be 'til Keigo gets arrested… Though it might just be Mizuiro getting a restraining order on him…" His thoughts continued plundering on. "WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE SUCH WACKED FR- OW! OI MIDGET! STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!"

And so begins… The Arcade Adventure. With Ichigo and Rukia. Oh dear… I'm going to go bury my head in my pillows… I can just _hear_ their screaming arguments…

"So what game is it midge- OW! Stop kicking me _grandmother_!"

"GRANDMOTHER?" Another kick followed the previous just a smidge higher up. A twitch of her victim's eye in pain made her smirk haughtily at him before she skipped towards the arcade.

"I'm going to die at her hands one day. Not from a hollow, nor my father, nor Karin's cooking. I'm going to die a very painful death, _down there_ will go first and while I'm keeled over, she'll lop off my head or something…" Picking himself up off the sidewalk where he'd been lying for a few minutes to regain feeling that _wasn't_ pain in his legs he mumbled to himself the beginnings of his will. "Let's see… Dad's not getting anything. Yuzu's getting…"

"HURRY UP, IDIOT!" The purposely shrill feminine voice of his soul reaper partner made his ears ring, course that could be the pain too…

"SHADDUP!" He roared as he stumbled a bit from the numb leg before beginning his trudge to save those poor owners from the hell that was coming.

By the time they arrived, the line was starting to wrap; the after school rush hour began, and so did hell. Ichigo couldn't help but think of how much he was going to suffer in the next few hours.

Such a beautiful relationship! I'm crying tears of joy! (No, just pain. Rukia and Ichigo hit rather hard… )

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**Thus ends the first of about 50 chapters related to summer. They are all relatively going to be crackish, maybe there'll be some romance, dunno, you tell me what you want, it'll help with the updates :D**

**Ja ne!**

**Kaida-chan out~**

**(Happy summer everyone! Check out the Hetalia story I just posted -UsxFemUK- or the FMA version of Summer Days if you want some more laughs-ish!)**


	2. Video Games

Don't own Bleach. Just the ideas below.

**Super quick note: I know I said I'd update daily. That's only possible if I had a boatload of time on my hands and a reliable imagination. Both of which are spotty. So I've decided to update every other day (give or take a day) and therefore there'll only be about 25 chapters (give or take a chapter).**

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Day 1- Video Games

It was on the following day that both Rukia and Ichigo decided that homework wasn't worth the brain power and should be set aside for whenever else they felt like doing it (read: never). Therefore, other things must occupy the time left once taken over by presumed homework, the age old answer: video games. Now Keigo had decided to come over, bringing his PlayStation, whereas Ichigo sent Rukia off to who knows where so they could play in piece and she wouldn't be indirectly molested. (Though it was partially for his own sanity. He could practically picture the conversation.)

"Ichigo!"

"What…"

"WHY IS THERE A GIRL IN YOUR HOUSE? AND WHY DID YOU NOT INVITE ME?" The sobbing pervert cried.

Ichigo waved his hand in front of him to dispel the daymare. Ironically, Karin had dragged their (awful) father out of the house early in the morning for soccer practice, and Yuzu tagged along for the sake of it. Thus meaning, the house was left to him. "Oh joy." Picking up the last few components of his own PlayStation to move to the TV, he kicked Kon lightly, and grumbled something about company coming over.

It was around this time that he heard a peal of laughter. A very familiar peal of laughter.

The objects lay dejected on the couch as he ran around his home searching for the source. By the time Keigo had called to cancel (his sister was dragging him shopping, the horror), Ichigo was in a corner, flitting his eyes back and forth nervously. A second, loud moment of laughter echoed through the house and he jumped up, tossed the phone (still connected to Keigo, mind you) on the couch where he then ran towards the source.

A wall.

Where was a good table when you needed to flip one? So he improvised; he punched the wall. It gave way easily and revealed a raven haired young woman curled up in a chair laughing hysterically at a video she was watching.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON MIDGET? WHAT IS THIS?" Ichigo exploded, obviously driven mad by the haunting laughter she had let loose (completely ignoring the secret passage within his humble house).

It was at that moment that the smell of sweets invaded his nostrils and then the tinkling of bells reached his ears. Eyes widening, he mouthed "no…." And promptly ran out of the room all but screaming and waving his arms like a maniac.

"Well he must be having a bad day…" Urahara said fanning himself and munching on a bowl of sweets as Yoruichi played with the sleigh bells she had found months ago as a cat. Their heads jerked in Rukia's direction when she curled upon the chair tighter to hold in the giggle fit.

"Perhaps… We shouldn't have introduced her to the Internet so soon…" Yoruichi's side comment was when Rukia let out a gasp of immense shock and embarrassment.

"I'd take it she reached the dark side of the Internet…?"

A nod from Yoruichi in cat form answered his inquiry when she padded back to his side after making sure Rukia hadn't died of asphyxiation from shock.

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**Uh... Yeah. Crack. That explains it good enough. Helpful reviews are loved! Course compliments are nice too, but flames (unless there's a seriously good reason, and I mean evidence honeys, EVIDENCE) aren't appreciated much.**

**Kaida-chan out~!**


	3. When Sht Hits the Fan, Run

Day 2

_When Sh*t Hits the Fan. Run._

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Ichigo was still missing, Rukia was still cackling in her newly formed crevice, Isshin was still being dramatic to his beloved Misaki, Karin was still trying to kill the man as quickly and cleanly as possible, and Yuzu, poor, poor Yuzu, she was sitting on the couch watching the whole ordeal.

And then something inside her snapped.

Later in the future, no one will know who or what caused such a traumatic experience to take place, only that the person from which it came was Yuzu.

So let's focus on the present, just seconds before she finally lost it.

"ICHIGO? WHERE ARE YOU? DADDY WANTS TO CHALLENGE YOU TO ANOTHER MATCH!"

"Where are the knives, Yuz-"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS AMUSING!"

Yuzu merely sat on the couch listening to the constant screaming. It was a wonder no one had called the police on them. She noticed a slight white blur at the doorway and sighed. "Not another one… Ichigo will be annoyed if it clings to him like the others." She got up and walked towards it: mistake number one. On the way out she grabbed some earplugs conveniently left out and led to supposed ghost downstairs. Until it disappeared. "Figures." She made her way back upstairs and resumed her observation of her family and guests.

She would never remember what would happen next, simply the cold feeling of something unearthly covering her.

Next thing anyone knew, Isshin's head was smoking and hole in his hair signified a beam of destruction.

"Yuzu…?" Peeking from behind the counter was a worried (and idiotic) father.

"What the hell are you even talking about? You all need to SHUT UP. I mean really? Can you fake being a sissy for a few more months Isshin? It's like you're _asking_ Karin to _shoot_ you. And Rukia! STOP WATCHING THOSE STUPID VIDEOS AND GET OFF THE COMPUTER! I have no idea where Ichigo is, so don't bother!"

The sound of a door closing and footsteps running down the hall disrupted the stunned silence.

"Rukia, go get Ichigo before he kills himself by running into the road. I don't need any more people to take care of." Yuzu sighed, head in her hands. The sound of the door closing and more quick (lighter) footsteps echoed down the hall.

Then she passed out on the couch.

Later, Karin actually admitted to seeing a white wisp of something float out of her sister. Isshin was bawling on the floor in the kitchen, and Rukia was trying to calm Ichigo's frazzled mind while also trying to erase the sight she saw just hours before.

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**Don't own don't own don't own.**

**Blah blah blah, super tired right now, sorry for the 2 day ski- shiiiiiiieeeet. it's almost 12. Right. Sorry for lateness. Was busy/lazy/etc. (insert valid and placating excuse here).**

**Gotta go! Bye!**

**Kaida-chan out~!**


	4. Discovering Teens React

**Don't own Bleach. I've gone to extreme measure and broken what shouldn't be broken to provide funds in order to purchase the copyrights. Yes that's right dear readers. I broke my piggy bank. **

**ENJOY! and shizz like that. I mean what else am I supposed to say? Enjoy life? Want some fries with that? Give you life quotes? Americanized ways. They're causing snarky and sarcastic responses in the average sleep deprived young adults today. (I believe this would be where I say sweetly, "yes! this applies to me!")**

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Day 3: Discovering Teens React

Rukia was bored. Without a doubt, completely and utterly bored. Ichigo promptly told her to go play on the Internet so she could leave him be to playing video games (after he dealt with some short therapy due to his earlier… Encounters… Her latest fascination was with YouTube, courtesy of the "annoying shopkeeper" in her terms. She unfortunately made her way to and back from the weird side of YouTube, she shuddered at the memory of _certain_ videos.

"Teens React…" She mouthed, clearly picking up interest on this subject because obviously, it applied to her, in a weird way. "Well it doesn't really apply to me… But teenagers are in high school, and I'm in high school, so this is sound logic."

About ten minutes later, her eye was twitching; both out of confusion, and due to the absurdity she just witnessed.

"ICHIGO!"

"WHAT?" He snarled back, passing by the door of the room that held the computer, he was coerced (read: forced) to help his father with some chores that involved heavy lifting because the _bleep_ was too lazy to do it himself.

"Explain this to me."

"Go find a dictionary midget."

"NO. HELP. ME. NOW." She replied angrily with repeated kicks to the backs of his knees.

"ALRIGHT JUST STOP ABUSING ME! GEEZE!" With a groan and painful sigh, he sat next to the desk and waited for her questions. "I gave in too easily… Dammit." He muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, just ask me the damn questions."

"What are beauty pageants?"

A loud slap was heard as Ichigo's palm met his face. "THIS WAS WHAT YOU CALLED ME IN FOR?"

"Yes. Now answer me, what. Are. Beauty. Pageants."

"Ask Yuzu. How the hell should I know what that crap is?" Scoffing, he crossed his arms defiantly after getting up. He opened his mouth to yell for his little sister when Rukia once again began to spurt nonsensical information.

"Keigo told me all men knew what it was! In fact he was the one who told me to look at these moving pictures!" Ok so maybe it wasn't "nonsensical," it was more like downright annoying because of a gullible fool and a wimpy pervert.

"I'm going to kill him."

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**Yeah. This was based on my biffle sending me a video on youtube called "Teens React: Beauty Pageants" or something. Involved that show where the moms are real -bleep- and force their kid into- Toddlers and Tiaras! Or... Something like that... Here's some wise words for you. IDR, IDK, IDC. (I don't remember, I don't know, I don't care.) All three are applicable excuses. Please do consider possible punishments when responding to parents. By reading this you have acknowledged that I will not be held responsible for you being grounded or the life. **

**This is what happens when I'm ridiculously tired. Isn't it great? -wide creepy grin-**

**Ja ne~!**

**Kaida-chan out~**


	5. In Which Urahara Acts Like Break

**I said it before. I'll say it again. Don't own Bleach. **

**Before you question what's going on in this chapter, don't ask me 'cuz I honest to goodness have absolutely no clue. I mean not only is my brain fried (scratch that, suffering from mild shock) and demon filled (played Diablo II today), I'm having a gibberish conversation with my friend. We're bored. Anyway. Dunno where this came from, dunno what it's content is even... I'm gonna go bury my head in a pillow and try to sort my head...**

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Day 4

Reports were circulating the town of Karakura about a tall man beating a long haired teenager in a dark alley, mysterious as they were, no one could figure out the culprit, and the victim was too traumatized to even remember the ordeal.

On a different note, let's head to the Soul Society!

Yes… It's normal as usual here too… Zaraki's sending his men flying… Soi-fon is pining for Yoruichi… Nemu and her Captain are doing odd things, aaaaand Shunsui is doing nothing so Nanao is reprimanding him…

On second thought, the renowned shop keeper might have something…

Urahara cackled madly as he raced past Ururu. Her usual expressionless face displayed tired surprise. A dark shadow with something red on top barreled past her. She peeked out of her room to look down the hall.

"Huh… No one's there…" She closed her door and went back to doing whatever it is she usually did.

"People should work for their keep!" Another giggly cackle.

"YOU BASTARD! GIVE ME BACK MY SHOT GUN." Pineapple head said violently as he tore around a corner again.

"Only when you stop being a freeloader and do some work~!"

"BY CLEANING THE DAMNED TOILETS?"

Urahara stopped suddenly. "Well yes! Doesn't that sound _fun_?" Giggles escaped as Renji slammed into a wall, completely missing Urahara who stood in a hidden corner. It was then that Junta came out of the bathroom. Renji immediately plugged his nose and began screaming once more.

"FUN? WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?"

"Oh I don't know~!"

"You're just a kooky old man. That's what you are."

A dangerous smile surfaced, "Would you like to say that again~?"

Renji shrunk back a bit into the meld of his body in the wall.

So maybe today _wasn't_ a _good _day, normal? Yes. Good? Eh… Not so much… Particularly for Renji.


	6. Rumor Has It

**-blinks a few times- Ok. I'm up. Ish. -falls asleep for a bit- WAIT. NEED TO POST. -falls asleep- AH! **

**Ok. Don't own Bleach. I think that's it. Night. -passes out-**

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Day 5

Today was the weekly meeting for the SWA (Shinigami Women's Association). With all present and attending, Rangiku immediately assumed control (because Yachiru was busy munching on candy and sweets).

"There's a dire problem going on in the Soul Society today ladies!"

Nanao fixed her glasses in surprise, "and that problem would be?"

"Not enough sweets!" Yachiru waved her hand and shouted her suggestion.

"No. Worse than that… The SMA has been spreading rumors!"

"BLASPHEMY!" Rukia shouted, reacting violently (she'd been around Ichigo too long because her ladylike demeanor was slowly being replaced) slamming a foot on the ground and having a fist raised.

Rangiku nodded solemnly as Soi-fon raised an eyebrow imperceptively and both the Kotetsus and Momo were blinking in surprise and slight shock. Only Unohana remained impassive, smiling as she usually did politely.

"Well then what are the rumors?" Nanao asked, obviously confused because she had heard nothing in her division. "_Though it could be Shun- I mean Kyoraku Taichou that stopped the rumors in their tracks… But… What could they possibly be? I vaguely remember some odd looks from some of our members…_"

"Well apparently," the strawberry orange haired woman took a breath, and the other members realized there were quite a few things she was going to say. "I hooked up with Gin, Unohana-san you're with Ukitake taichou, Momo you're with my taichou, Yoruichi is with Urahara," the list continued as she rattled off names of supporters and members of the SWA and their supposed "partner." Interestingly, Rukia's name was not mentioned at all.

"Oh! And then for the other people, outside of the Soul Society of course," Rukia's back straightened, waiting for a rumor about her. She was oddly excited; giddy really, the pride of finding out who people presumed to be her suitor was interesting to her. Rangiku continued, "The Quincy is with Orihime-chan, Renji is with some girl that's close to Orihime-chan, Tatsuki was it? Oh and Rukia… Rumors about you haven't come up ever from what I've seen and heard while undercover. I have no idea why…"

She deflated slightly.

**Meanwhile, with the SMA…**

"Men! Our jobs have been fulfilled! The SWA won't know what hit 'em when they're 'supposed' suitor pops up and proves the rumor!" Hisagi began laughing, clearly feeling like he'd done something to tear down their only 'worthy' competition.

Kira only sighed and let his depressed aura surround him knowing he'd be the punching bag after the rumors were sorted.


	7. Alice in Wonderland

**Awesome. It's been updated an hour earlier. Gotta make this quick since my hand is starting to hurt again (no worries, its just being used more for drawing and piano so I'm still getting used to it ^^')**

**Don't own Bleach. But I do ship these pairings that are there with the help of a magnifying glass and squinting. Lots. Of. Squinting.**

**Anyway. Enjoy!**

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Oh! Why, Captains Unohana and Ukitake seem to be conversing outside the division's entrance.

"Taichou… If you'd really like to give your 'sweet Nanao-chan' a gift," an angry growl started, almost an aura above the compound. "THEN YOU'LL DO YOUR PAPERWORK!"

A loud smack echoed and made the two captains outside wince, one noticeable, and one a pained smile.

"But my sweet Nanao-chan~!"

"DON'T START WITH ME YOU. YOU. AAAGH! I CAN'T EVEN CURSE AT YOU BECAUSE I QUITE HAPPEN TO LIKE MY POSITION IN THE SQUAD!"

"Is it because of me~?" An almost leering grin could practically be _heard_ from the lazy but flamboyant captain.

"NO!"

"Perhaps… We should come by another day? Would you care to join me for tea Unohana-taichou?" A worried look upon the white haired man was masked by the calm smile that was usually on his face as he kindly asked his fellow captain for an escape.

"That sounds pleasant Ukitake-taichou, in fact, I have some excellent tea that may help with your condition back at the Fourth. _Oh my… It's a wonder Ise-san hasn't yet murdered the man…_" The smile was mirrored, though the warmth was (as usual) not conveyed so easily. Slipping her hands in opposite sleeves she began to walk alongside the man whom had managed to hold off his coughing attacks for a good few days now.

Meanwhile, within the division's barracks, there were new recruits shivering at the rage of their vice-captain, whereas the others (now used to this common occurrence), were merely lounging around taking and making bets about the current argument.

One of the more recently accepted recruits, mentioned that when he was once living in the overly populated places in the Soul Society, he had heard of a story called "Alice in Wonderland" and was telling others how the kitchen scene with the throwing of pots and pans reminded him of the verbal war that the vice-captain was attempting to wage.

"Honestly! I'm waiting for the Captain to walk into the Division 8's kitchen only to be shooed out by pots and pans which he expertly avoids all the while!"

"Oh. That? That's happened actually. I think it was last month was it? I think there were knives and burnt biscuits too. Supposedly she was just that ticked that she burnt them on purpose then sent the hot plate flying towards his head without regrets. " The no-longer-a-newbie-in-the-division nodded towards a fellow member who in turn nodded to confirm the memory.

"Don't forget the food fight that happened afterwards! That was fun!" A wide grin appeared on the member's face.

The new recruit could only gape in horror as he watched his captain race past the door of his room, the vice-captain in hot pursuit shouting expertly aimed kido spells.

"Pay up man. Told you it'd end up like this."

"Wait. You said training fields; it looks like they're heading towards the 13th division. Hand it over chump." They stared out the window, watching things be thrown and explosions occurring.

"Dammit all."

"Oh, this is normal by the way, sometimes, even the Captain steps in and wages his own bet!" The simultaneous enthusiastic statement directed at their immensely shocked new roommate only made his eye twitch once, violently.

"You'll get used to it." They chirped happily together.


	8. Discovering Teens React 2

**It's a return installment! I distinctly remember my most recent reviewer mentioning their extreme dislike for either the videos, or the show... Either way, I agree with you wholeheartedly, the vast vocabulary to describe such things are really impossible to include in a small paragraph. **

**Don't own Bleach**

**(MANY MANY MANY THANKS TO THOSE WHO'VE REVIEWED SO FAR :D even if its only 3 or 4 ^^' I feel like I get an extra dessert when people review ^^ so -gives all reviewers currently a large cookie of their choice- THANK YOU~!)**

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Day 7: Discovering Kids React: Day 2

T'was another peaceful day in the Kurosaki home. Yuzu was back to her sweet self, though everyone was treading far more lightly than usual. Karin was out playing soccer, their idiotic father was actually calm (asleep) on the couch. Ichigo sighed, he hadn't even seen the midget all day. Life was good.

He stood from his chair in his room, tired from working on his summer homework, to get a drink before going back and tackling the problems once more.

A few hours later he furrowed his brow in concern; he had yet to see the Chappy obsessed Soul Reaper. This was worrisome. A missing Rukia wouldn't go over well with his friends, nor Bykauya, unless he'd stolen her back again.

A quick check around his room revealed no letter that gave hints to her possible "capture" and "release" in the Soul Society territory.

He grabbed a Christmas present from her (she deemed it honorable, he told her it was a worthless and oddly themed present, he still kept it though) and began to shake it, like a bell in order to call forth the one that responded to it. "_This is no Pavlov's bell but it's worked in the past. So hopefully it'll work now._"

"ICHIGO!"

"_Oh, so she was still within the house. That was good. And she responded to the makeshift bell. Not bad Ichigo, not bad at all._"

"STRAWBERRY!"

"WHAT?" He growled loudly, quickly glancing at Yuzu to make sure she didn't have another rampage like days ago.

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!

"EXPLAIN THE WHAT NOW?"

"GO TO THE DAMNED ROOM AND ANSWER HER QUESTION BROTHER!" A wince from him as he walked towards Rukia answered Yuzu's angered explosion.

"_Was it even her? It doesn't look like she moved…_"

"MARCH." She barked.

"_Nope. It was her alright. I feel like I'm in a minefield with all that goes on in this house. And I'm tripping ever dammed mine possible._"

"Rukia."

"Ichigo."

"What is it?" He sighed and leaned on the chair she was curled up on.

She turned to him, curious with big, wide, violet eyes, nearly sucking him into their depths.

"What is the purpose of this video called "Shit Girls Say?"

"Someone save me now…" He muttered before angrily stomping out of the room in order to avoid the rage of Chappy the Bunny and to get rid of the memory that he had been drawn so close to her by those sparklingly curious eyes of hers.

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**GUESS THE REFERENCE :D (Anime! Hint. "I scream.")**


	9. The Beach

**So... This is kind of a short one shot... It's really the best I could do with the idea I had. Anyway, sorry for the maaaajor delay. -insert list of excuses- Nah, I was just ridiculously lazy and then all of a sudden it's today and I'm thinking "fudge! I haven't updated in almost a week o.o fuuuuuuu- gotta start typing. naaaaaoooo." and so here we are. A really bad and most likely nonhumorous quickie...**

**Don't own Bleach, just saying. My piggy bank hasn't recovered yet... Or wait, was the piggy bank thing in FMA... Fudge! I can't remember! -walks away muttering until accidentally walks off a cliff- WEEEEE- yeah. I'm tired. ENJOY. I hope.**

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Day 8

Another hot day in Karakura town!

So what are our dear characters up to?

Why, they're at the pool! (Correction, Byakuya's pool. Yes, all the Soul Reapers we've had the pleasure of meeting... Oh dear...)

Obviously, we focus our attention on the pool!

"Nii-san... Uh. Good afternoon. How are you?" Rukia chattered nervously. Byakuya had entered the premises, hoping to take a dip in his /private/ pool to get away from the hot day.

Now what the stoic man did /not/ expect, was Yoruichi to bound by (or rather slip though his legs in a mocking attempt to trip him) as a cat. At the time he looked up though he found Rukia smiling nervously. An unnoticeable twitch of his eyebrow raised just the slightest of an extreme millimeter answered her smile.

"How about I show you the latest Chappy, Nii-san! Seaweed man is holding hands with him!"

Well that got his attention. His brow moved to its original position as he wordlessly followed Rukia to a room dedicated to such... Delicate manners... (Chappy and Seaweedman related things).

"The coast is clear. Rukia lead him away successfully." Yoruichi hissed at Remji who passed the message along.

The pool, once dangerously quiet for fear of Byakuya finding out, burst into a clammer of noise and partying. The sounds of drinks being clinked and people jumping into the inviting water with loud splashes.

Meanwhile back with Rukia and Byakuya...

"This is limited edition!" Byakuya's thoughts were (obviously) not visible on his face (despite the minuscule widening of his eyes and slight upward twitch of the corners of his mouth in a smile) as he gazed at the plush that his partner's sister held up before him. Clearing his throat before out-of-character happy flowers started appearing, he nodded to Rukia, who beamed with happiness, knowing that she'd pleased him.


	10. Zombie Apocalypse

**Another chapter to make up for the completely missed because of my laziness :D -dodges frying pan- WHAT'S WITH PEOPLE AND FRYING PANS? **

**So. Last chapter I walked off a cliff. :D This chapter I'm going to fall in a pit of sharks -cheers before dodging a rotten fruit- GEEZE PEOPLE. FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO. Like, I dunno, read the fic? -gets hit with a pancake to the face- Great. Somebody find an archer, I need one to the knee please. Can I get that to go? -mutters to self and walks off set moving slightly to avoid arrows-**

**Don't own Bleach! Enjoy :D**

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Day 9  
"Nemu. I have another brilliant plan. Fetch me some paper and a pencil."

"..." Was her soundless answer as she did so. After she returned and he (Kurotsuchi) was giddily drawing the latest contraption to capture hollows without having to release a bankai (for the captains of course! Energy must be saved!), Nemu broke the comfortable silence.

"May I question what it is you have decided to create this time, Captain?"

Giving her a mad grin he continued doodling before finally finishing and excitedly holding it up for her to see.

"Captain, it looks like a hat with an odd circular veil, is it perhaps a beekeeper hat? Kurosaki has informed me of such things on the odd occasion I question him of the human world."

"No, silly girl! I call this... THE FLYING GUILLOTINE!" He was quite proud of his drawing. It was particularly deadly hat with the blades that would slice a hollow's head off easily.

"Was that not used (stationarily) in the French revolution for chopping off heads, Captain?" Nemu pondered for a moment, still unaware of his goals, but still letting him have his glory of his brilliance.

"Yes! I knew that brain I gave you wasn't for naught! Now let's go give this to someone heading for the human world once I make this!"

"Of course, Captain."

That afternoon it was sent out with the returning Shinigami representative for Karakura (no, not Afro guy): Rukia.

"Hey. Midget. Whatcha got there?"  
"The research division wants us to try this out."

Wincing from the kick he was given rather harshly, Ichigo nodded. His badge went off, as did Rukia's cell phone. With a nod to each other they popped a Soul Candy, grabbed the new contraption and made their way to the hollow.

Upon arrival, Ichigo actually followed Rukia's order to distract the hollow while she made her way to the head to toss the experiment on its head as she was told to do so.

Almost immediately it latched on and encircled its head. The two reapers leapt back, worried it would explode. However, instead a loud clanging sound was heard and finally, a thud as the head of the hollow hit the ground with the contraption.

The hollow made to disappear, but immediately sensed a human and possessed it with ease. Within minutes the human's skin had rotted and it's brain capacity had been severely diminished.

A bystander screamed. "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!" And crashed to the sidewalk unconscious while the possessed human munched on another's neck, turning the victim to an undead.

Ichigo and Rukia glanced at each other, horrified.

Then they woke up, gasping.

A text made its way to Rukia's phone, which she immediately read.

"I have a new test for you weak humans to try out! Nemu says it looks like a "beekeeper's hat" whatever that is. Next time you visit please visit to try it out! -Kurotsuchi"

"NOOOOOO!"


	11. Sheep and Dreads and Weaves

**Last one for the day for Bleach. -yawns- So now that I'm back on schedule with updates for Bleach... (watch, I'll go and forget for a few days and do a mass update. -shaking head-) I think I'll go work on the chapters for FMA... Speaking of, it's coming along -nervous grin- to those of you who read it, there's only two chapters I'm doing, my friend has kindly agreed to doing another chapter :D yay! -gets slapped with a fish- REALLY PEOPLE? REALLY? -sighs-**

**I don't own Bleach. And the question at the bottom, I don't own that either, I'm borrowing it from a fic I read a few days ago. I MEAN NO PLAGAIRISM (eff spelling). I simply thought it'd be a funny addition. I REPEAT. I DO NOT OWN THAT QUESTION. That is all. -acting like a worm to get off the platform for some godforsaken reason-**

* * *

**_Just as an FYI to returning readers (-snort- I have viewers -laughs- that's funny. Anyway) I posted 3 chapters today. Chapter 9 is the start of the mass update. Just figured you'd wanna know. Baaaiiii (haha, baa XD You'll get it at the end of the story.)_**

Day 10

Let's talk about sheep and dreads!

"Tessai!" Renji called.

"?"

"How is it that you get your hair like that? What _is_ it actually?" The red haired, no filter on his mouth for politeness, man practically demanded.

The tall and gruff man stared down at him before motioning him to the table that often housed the impromptu Shinigami meetings.

"Let's get this straight. This a professional weave. Not that cheap shit from Walgreens." He casually stated in his usual low voice while flipping a few dreads over his shoulder. Renji froze, his mind yelling at him.

"This may have been the worst idea ever." He thought as Tessai continued to tell his story of his weaved hair.

"Rule number one with great hair like mine. Don't buy it from Walgreens. Order weaves from sheep in Scotland that have been protected from the Scottish." The dead serious tone of the man made Renji do a double take.

"_He's not serious… Right?_" An eyebrow was raised at the expense of the man before him. "_And how the hell are sheep related to weaves?_"

"Now here's some basic knowledge!"

An imperceptible groan from the pineapple head answered the uncharacteristically joyous tone of such a scary looking person.

"First of all. When one has a weave, a swimming cap must be worn in the pool or showering."

A grotesque look passed both their faces at the thought.

"Second of all. Bitches love weaves."

"Okay, wait. Back up. Whaaat? I've gone along with a lot of the crap you're spewing but seriously? What the hell are you say-" Renji was cut off as Rukia walked by looking for Urahara, but stopped to momentarily play with Tessai's hair. "I can't free load here anymore. I'll go insane."

"HA! HE ADMITS IT!" Shouted a hatted blond man from a few rooms away.

It was at that moment that Renji could have sworn he heard a "baa" noise. Jinta ran by the doorway. Closely followed by white fluffs.

Jinta yelled, "TESSAI, MAH SHEEP BE HERE!"

The man jumped up, "They were never yours to begin with!"

Rukia smirked at Renji and said, "gotta love da weave, man!"

A pale face answered her as he slowly got up and left the sheep like environment.

"Oh. Ururu, you're finally up." He heard Urahara say.

"Yes. Sleeping with sheep makes it easier to fall asleep since they're fine pillows." The dull voice answered.

Renji burst out of the room in nearly screaming. He came across the Kurosaki clinic and spent the night there peaceably.

"Hey Renji."

"Yeah?" He answered Yuzu.

"What does 'sheepish' even mean? Stand there and say 'baaa' while looking cute and fluffy? It's for my English- … Essay…"

The man had run out of the room like a bat out of hell screaming about the world having gone insane. Or something like that.

Inside the kitchen Ichigo smirked, "my plan worked. Maybe now he'll go back to the Soul Society."


	12. Pranks

_52 Days of Summer: Scenarios for the Average Shipper: Bleach_

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN BLEACH. JUST THESE IDEAS. THE END.

Alright, now that that's done, we can now begin 52 Days of Summer. A series of possibly related (though mostly not) oneshots filled with crack. Enjoy~!

Day 0

_Brrrrriiiinnng!_

A signal? An alarm? Sure; if those mean that school's let out for the final time of the year.

T'is only been minutes since the children have been let out; sorry, teenagers, they're not quite children…

"I feel like someone just insulted me somewhere in the world…"

"Are you sure your midget radar didn't pick up the thought that everyone else has in their head when they see you?" The orange-haired strawberry-named man snorted at the much shorter raven haired amethyst woman when he walked up to her, bag slung over his shoulder and slouching as usual. Said woman proceeded to beat the strawberry into the ground with her bare hands (and a few hits from her bag for extra measure), but what's a friendly fight, right?

"Okay, now _I_ feel like someone just implied something about us…" Ichigo muttered, annoyed at the weird nagging feeling he was having in the back of his head.

"Who cares, idiot? Can we stop by the arcade? I found out they have a new Chappy prize!" Rukia cheered, spinning around happily while (surprise, surprise) holding a Chappy doll that Keigo had given to her that morning.

An aggravated sigh answered her excited plead. "Wonder how long it'll be 'til Keigo gets arrested… Though it might just be Mizuiro getting a restraining order on him…" His thoughts continued plundering on. "WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE SUCH WACKED FR- OW! OI MIDGET! STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!"

And so begins… The Arcade Adventure. With Ichigo and Rukia. Oh dear… I'm going to go bury my head in my pillows… I can just _hear_ their screaming arguments…

"So what game is it midge- OW! Stop kicking me _grandmother_!"

"GRANDMOTHER?" Another kick followed the previous just a smidge higher up. A twitch of her victim's eye in pain made her smirk haughtily at him before she skipped towards the arcade.

"I'm going to die at her hands one day. Not from a hollow, nor my father, nor Karin's cooking. I'm going to die a very painful death, _down there_ will go first and while I'm keeled over, she'll lop off my head or something…" Picking himself up off the sidewalk where he'd been lying for a few minutes to regain feeling that _wasn't_ pain in his legs he mumbled to himself the beginnings of his will. "Let's see… Dad's not getting anything. Yuzu's getting…"

"HURRY UP, IDIOT!" The purposely shrill feminine voice of his soul reaper partner made his ears ring, course that could be the pain too…

"SHADDUP!" He roared as he stumbled a bit from the numb leg before beginning his trudge to save those poor owners from the hell that was coming.

By the time they arrived, the line was starting to wrap; the after school rush hour began, and so did hell. Ichigo couldn't help but think of how much he was going to suffer in the next few hours.

Such a beautiful relationship! I'm crying tears of joy! (No, just pain. Rukia and Ichigo hit rather hard… )

Day 1- Video Games

It was on the following day that both Rukia and Ichigo decided that homework wasn't worth the brain power and should be set aside for whenever else they felt like doing it (read: never). Therefore, other things must occupy the time left once taken over by presumed homework, the age old answer: video games. Now Keigo had decided to come over, bringing his PlayStation, whereas Ichigo sent Rukia off to who knows where so they could play in piece and she wouldn't be indirectly molested. (Though it was partially for his own sanity. He could practically picture the conversation.)

"Ichigo!"

"What…"

"WHY IS THERE A GIRL IN YOUR HOUSE? AND WHY DID YOU NOT INVITE ME?" The sobbing pervert cried.

Ichigo waved his hand in front of him to dispel the daymare. Ironically, Karin had dragged their (awful) father out of the house early in the morning for soccer practice, and Yuzu tagged along for the sake of it. Thus meaning, the house was left to him. "Oh joy." Picking up the last few components of his own PlayStation to move to the TV, he kicked Kon lightly, and grumbled something about company coming over.

It was around this time that he heard a peal of laughter. A very familiar peal of laughter.

The objects lay dejected on the couch as he ran around his home searching for the source. By the time Keigo had called to cancel (his sister was dragging him shopping, the horror), Ichigo was in a corner, flitting his eyes back and forth nervously. A second, loud moment of laughter echoed through the house and he jumped up, tossed the phone (still connected to Keigo, mind you) on the couch where he then ran towards the source.

A wall.

Where was a good table when you needed to flip one? So he improvised; he punched the wall. It gave way easily and revealed a raven haired young woman curled up in a chair laughing hysterically at a video she was watching.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON MIDGET? WHAT IS THIS?" Ichigo exploded, obviously driven mad by the haunting laughter she had let loose (completely ignoring the secret passage within his humble house).

It was at that moment that the smell of sweets invaded his nostrils and then the tinkling of bells reached his ears. Eyes widening, he mouthed "no…." And promptly ran out of the room all but screaming and waving his arms like a maniac.

"Well he must be having a bad day…" Urahara said fanning himself and munching on a bowl of sweets as Yoruichi played with the sleigh bells she had found months ago as a cat. Their heads jerked in Rukia's direction when she curled upon the chair tighter to hold in the giggle fit.

"Perhaps… We shouldn't have introduced her to the Internet so soon…" Yoruichi's side comment was when Rukia let out a gasp of immense shock and embarrassment.

"I'd take it she reached the dark side of the Internet…?"

A nod from Yoruichi in cat form answered his inquiry when she padded back to his side after making sure Rukia hadn't died of asphyxiation from shock.

Day 2

Ichigo was still missing, Rukia was still cackling in her newly formed crevice, Isshin was still being dramatic to his beloved Misaki, Karin was still trying to kill the man as quickly and cleanly as possible, and Yuzu, poor, poor Yuzu, she was sitting on the couch watching the whole ordeal.

And then something inside her snapped.

Later in the future, no one will know who or what caused such a traumatic experience to take place, only that the person from which it came was Yuzu.

So let's focus on the present, just seconds before she finally lost it.

"ICHIGO? WHERE ARE YOU? DADDY WANTS TO CHALLENGE YOU TO ANOTHER MATCH!"

"Where are the knives, Yuz-"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS AMUSING!"

Yuzu merely sat on the couch listening to the constant screaming. It was a wonder no one had called the police on them. She noticed a slight white blur at the doorway and sighed. "Not another one… Ichigo will be annoyed if it clings to him like the others." She got up and walked towards it: mistake number one. On the way out she grabbed some earplugs conveniently left out and led to supposed ghost downstairs. Until it disappeared. "Figures." She made her way back upstairs and resumed her observation of her family and guests.

She would never remember what would happen next, simply the cold feeling of something unearthly covering her.

Next thing anyone knew, Isshin's head was smoking and hole in his hair signified a beam of destruction.

"Yuzu…?" Peeking from behind the counter was a worried (and idiotic) father.

"What the hell are you even talking about? You all need to SHUT UP. I mean really? Can you fake being a sissy for a few more months Isshin? It's like you're _asking_ Karin to _shoot_ you. And Rukia! STOP WATCHING THOSE STUPID VIDEOS AND GET OFF THE COMPUTER! I have no idea where Ichigo is, so don't bother!"

The sound of a door closing and footsteps running down the hall disrupted the stunned silence.

"Rukia, go get Ichigo before he kills himself by running into the road. I don't need any more people to take care of." Yuzu sighed, head in her hands. The sound of the door closing and more quick (lighter) footsteps echoed down the hall.

Then she passed out on the couch.

Later, Karin actually admitted to seeing a white wisp of something float out of her sister. Isshin was bawling on the floor in the kitchen, and Rukia was trying to calm Ichigo's frazzled mind while also trying to erase the sight she saw just hours before.

Day 3: Discovering Teens React

Rukia was bored. Without a doubt, completely and utterly bored. Ichigo promptly told her to go play on the Internet so she could leave him be to playing video games (after he dealt with some short therapy due to his earlier… Encounters… Her latest fascination was with YouTube, courtesy of the "annoying shopkeeper" in her terms. She unfortunately made her way to and back from the weird side of YouTube, she shuddered at the memory of _certain_ videos.

"Teens React…" She mouthed, clearly picking up interest on this subject because obviously, it applied to her, in a weird way. "Well it doesn't really apply to me… But teenagers are in high school, and I'm in high school, so this is sound logic."

About ten minutes later, her eye was twitching; both out of confusion, and due to the absurdity she just witnessed.

"ICHIGO!"

"WHAT?" He snarled back, passing by the door of the room that held the computer, he was coerced (read: forced) to help his father with some chores that involved heavy lifting because the _bleep_ was too lazy to do it himself.

"Explain this to me."

"Go find a dictionary midget."

"NO. HELP. ME. NOW." She replied angrily with repeated kicks to the backs of his knees.

"ALRIGHT JUST STOP ABUSING ME! GEEZE!" With a groan and painful sigh, he sat next to the desk and waited for her questions. "I gave in too easily… Dammit." He muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, just ask me the damn questions."

"What are beauty pageants?"

A loud slap was heard as Ichigo's palm met his face. "THIS WAS WHAT YOU CALLED ME IN FOR?"

"Yes. Now answer me, what. Are. Beauty. Pageants."

"Ask Yuzu. How the hell should I know what that crap is?" Scoffing, he crossed his arms defiantly after getting up. He opened his mouth to yell for his little sister when Rukia once again began to spurt nonsensical information.

"Keigo told me all men knew what it was! In fact he was the one who told me to look at these moving pictures!" Ok so maybe it wasn't "nonsensical," it was more like downright annoying because of a gullible fool and a wimpy pervert.

"I'm going to kill him."

Day 4

Reports were circulating the town of Karakura about a tall man beating a long haired teenager in a dark alley, mysterious as they were, no one could figure out the culprit, and the victim was too traumatized to even remember the ordeal.

On a different note, let's head to the Soul Society!

Yes… It's normal as usual here too… Zaraki's sending his men flying… Soi-fon is pining for Yoruichi… Nemu and her Captain are doing odd things, aaaaand Shunsui is doing nothing so Nanao is reprimanding him…

On second thought, the renowned shop keeper might have something…

Urahara cackled madly as he raced past Ururu. Her usual expressionless face displayed tired surprise. A dark shadow with something red on top barreled past her. She peeked out of her room to look down the hall.

"Huh… No one's there…" She closed her door and went back to doing whatever it is she usually did.

"People should work for their keep!" Another giggly cackle.

"YOU BASTARD! GIVE ME BACK MY SHOT GUN." Pineapple head said violently as he tore around a corner again.

"Only when you stop being a freeloader and do some work~!"

"BY CLEANING THE DAMNED TOILETS?"

Urahara stopped suddenly. "Well yes! Doesn't that sound _fun_?" Giggles escaped as Renji slammed into a wall, completely missing Urahara who stood in a hidden corner. It was then that Junta came out of the bathroom. Renji immediately plugged his nose and began screaming once more.

"FUN? WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?"

"Oh I don't know~!"

"You're just a kooky old man. That's what you are."

A dangerous smile surfaced, "Would you like to say that again~?"

Renji shrunk back a bit into the meld of his body in the wall.

So maybe today _wasn't_ a _good _day, normal? Yes. Good? Eh… Not so much… Particularly for Renji.

Day 5

Today was the weekly meeting for the SWA (Shinigami Women's Association). With all present and attending, Rangiku immediately assumed control (because Yachiru was busy munching on candy and sweets).

"There's a dire problem going on in the Soul Society today ladies!"

Nanao fixed her glasses in surprise, "and that problem would be?"

"Not enough sweets!" Yachiru waved her hand and shouted her suggestion.

"No. Worse than that… The SMA has been spreading rumors!"

"BLASPHEMY!" Rukia shouted, reacting violently (she'd been around Ichigo too long because her ladylike demeanor was slowly being replaced) slamming a foot on the ground and having a fist raised.

Rangiku nodded solemnly as Soi-fon raised an eyebrow imperceptively and both the Kotetsus and Momo were blinking in surprise and slight shock. Only Unohana remained impassive, smiling as she usually did politely.

"Well then what are the rumors?" Nanao asked, obviously confused because she had heard nothing in her division. "_Though it could be Shun- I mean Kyoraku Taichou that stopped the rumors in their tracks… But… What could they possibly be? I vaguely remember some odd looks from some of our members…_"

"Well apparently," the strawberry orange haired woman took a breath, and the other members realized there were quite a few things she was going to say. "I hooked up with Gin, Unohana-san you're with Ukitake taichou, Momo you're with my taichou, Yoruichi is with Urahara," the list continued as she rattled off names of supporters and members of the SWA and their supposed "partner." Interestingly, Rukia's name was not mentioned at all.

"Oh! And then for the other people, outside of the Soul Society of course," Rukia's back straightened, waiting for a rumor about her. She was oddly excited; giddy really, the pride of finding out who people presumed to be her suitor was interesting to her. Rangiku continued, "The Quincy is with Orihime-chan, Renji is with some girl that's close to Orihime-chan, Tatsuki was it? Oh and Rukia… Rumors about you haven't come up ever from what I've seen and heard while undercover. I have no idea why…"

She deflated slightly.

**Meanwhile, with the SMA…**

"Men! Our jobs have been fulfilled! The SWA won't know what hit 'em when they're 'supposed' suitor pops up and proves the rumor!" Hisagi began laughing, clearly feeling like he'd done something to tear down their only 'worthy' competition.

Kira only sighed and let his depressed aura surround him knowing he'd be the punching bag after the rumors were sorted.

Day 6

For today, let us focus upon the Soul Society once more. I believe Division 8 may have something amusing for us.

Oh! Why, Captains Unohana and Ukitake seem to be conversing outside the division's entrance.

"Taichou… If you'd really like to give your 'sweet Nanao-chan' a gift," an angry growl started, almost an aura above the compound. "THEN YOU'LL DO YOUR PAPERWORK!"

A loud smack echoed and made the two captains outside wince, one noticeable, and one a pained smile.

"But my sweet Nanao-chan~!"

"DON'T START WITH ME YOU. YOU. AAAGH! I CAN'T EVEN CURSE AT YOU BECAUSE I QUITE HAPPEN TO LIKE MY POSITION IN THE SQUAD!"

"Is it because of me~?" An almost leering grin could practically be _heard_ from the lazy but flamboyant captain.

"NO!"

"Perhaps… We should come by another day? Would you care to join me for tea Unohana-taichou?" A worried look upon the white haired man was masked by the calm smile that was usually on his face as he kindly asked his fellow captain for an escape.

"That sounds pleasant Ukitake-taichou, in fact, I have some excellent tea that may help with your condition back at the Fourth. _Oh my… It's a wonder Ise-san hasn't yet murdered the man…_" The smile was mirrored, though the warmth was (as usual) not conveyed so easily. Slipping her hands in opposite sleeves she began to walk alongside the man whom had managed to hold off his coughing attacks for a good few days now.

Meanwhile, within the division's barracks, there were new recruits shivering at the rage of their vice-captain, whereas the others (now used to this common occurrence), were merely lounging around taking and making bets about the current argument.

One of the more recently accepted recruits, mentioned that when he was once living in the overly populated places in the Soul Society, he had heard of a story called "Alice in Wonderland" and was telling others how the kitchen scene with the throwing of pots and pans reminded him of the verbal war that the vice-captain was attempting to wage.

"Honestly! I'm waiting for the Captain to walk into the Division 8's kitchen only to be shooed out by pots and pans which he expertly avoids all the while!"

"Oh. That? That's happened actually. I think it was last month was it? I think there were knives and burnt biscuits too. Supposedly she was just that ticked that she burnt them on purpose then sent the hot plate flying towards his head without regrets. " The no-longer-a-newbie-in-the-division nodded towards a fellow member who in turn nodded to confirm the memory.

"Don't forget the food fight that happened afterwards! That was fun!" A wide grin appeared on the member's face.

The new recruit could only gape in horror as he watched his captain race past the door of his room, the vice-captain in hot pursuit shouting expertly aimed kido spells.

"Pay up man. Told you it'd end up like this."

"Wait. You said training fields; it looks like they're heading towards the 13th division. Hand it over chump." They stared out the window, watching things be thrown and explosions occurring.

"Dammit all."

"Oh, this is normal by the way, sometimes, even the Captain steps in and wages his own bet!" The simultaneous enthusiastic statement directed at their immensely shocked new roommate only made his eye twitch once, violently.

"You'll get used to it." They chirped happily together.

Day 7: Discovering Kids React: Day 2

T'was another peaceful day in the Kurosaki home. Yuzu was back to her sweet self, though everyone was treading far more lightly than usual. Karin was out playing soccer, their idiotic father was actually calm (asleep) on the couch. Ichigo sighed, he hadn't even seen the midget all day. Life was good.

He stood from his chair in his room, tired from working on his summer homework, to get a drink before going back and tackling the problems once more.

A few hours later he furrowed his brow in concern; he had yet to see the Chappy obsessed Soul Reaper. This was worrisome. A missing Rukia wouldn't go over well with his friends, nor Bykauya, unless he'd stolen her back again.

A quick check around his room revealed no letter that gave hints to her possible "capture" and "release" in the Soul Society territory.

He grabbed a Christmas present from her (she deemed it honorable, he told her it was a worthless and oddly themed present, he still kept it though) and began to shake it, like a bell in order to call forth the one that responded to it. "_This is no Pavlov's bell but it's worked in the past. So hopefully it'll work now._"

"ICHIGO!"

"_Oh, so she was still within the house. That was good. And she responded to the makeshift bell. Not bad Ichigo, not bad at all._"

"STRAWBERRY!"

"WHAT?" He growled loudly, quickly glancing at Yuzu to make sure she didn't have another rampage like days ago.

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!

"EXPLAIN THE WHAT NOW?"

"GO TO THE DAMNED ROOM AND ANSWER HER QUESTION BROTHER!" A wince from him as he walked towards Rukia answered Yuzu's angered explosion.

"_Was it even her? It doesn't look like she moved…_"

"MARCH." She barked.

"_Nope. It was her alright. I feel like I'm in a minefield with all that goes on in this house. And I'm tripping ever dammed mine possible._"

"Rukia."

"Ichigo."

"What is it?" He sighed and leaned on the chair she was curled up on.

She turned to him, curious with big, wide, violet eyes, nearly sucking him into their depths.

"What is the purpose of this video called "Shit Girls Say?"

"Someone save me now…" He muttered before angrily stomping out of the room in order to avoid the rage of Chappy the Bunny and to get rid of the memory that he had been drawn so close to her by those sparklingly curious eyes of hers.

**GUESS THE REFERENCE :D**

Day 8- Bleach  
Another hot day in Karakura town!

So what are our dear characters up to?

Why, they're at the pool! (Correction, Byakuya's pool. Yes, all the Soul Reapers we've had the pleasure of meeting... Oh dear...)

Obviously, we focus our attention on the pool!

"Nii-san... Uh. Good afternoon. How are you?" Rukia chattered nervously. Byakuya had entered the premises, hoping to take a dip in his /private/ pool to get away from the hot day.

Now what the stoic man did /not/ expect, was Yoruichi to bound by (or rather slip though his legs in a mocking attempt to trip him) as a cat. At the time he looked up though he found Rukia smiling nervously. An unnoticeable twitch of his eyebrow raised just the slightest of an extreme millimeter answered her smile.

"How about I show you the latest Chappy, Nii-san! Seaweed man is holding hands with him!"

Well that got his attention. His brow moved to its original position as he wordlessly followed Rukia to a room dedicated to such... Delicate manners... (Chappy and Seaweedman related things).

"The coast is clear. Rukia lead him away successfully." Yoruichi hissed at Remji who passed the message along.

The pool, once dangerously quiet for fear of Byakuya finding out, burst into a clammer of noise and partying. The sounds of drinks being clinked and people jumping into the inviting water with loud splashes.

Meanwhile back with Rukia and Byakuya...

"This is limited edition!" Byakuya's thoughts were (obviously) not visible on his face (despite the minuscule widening of his eyes and slight upward twitch of the corners of his mouth in a smile) as he gazed at the plush that his partner's sister held up before him. Clearing his throat before out-of-character happy flowers started appearing, he nodded to Rukia, who beamed with happiness, knowing that she'd pleased him.

Day 9  
"Nemu. I have another brilliant plan. Fetch me some paper and a pencil."

"..." Was her soundless answer as she did so. After she returned and he (Kurotsuchi) was giddily drawing the latest contraption to capture hollows without having to release a bankai (for the captains of course! Energy must be saved!), Nemu broke the comfortable silence.

"May I question what it is you have decided to create this time, Captain?"

Giving her a mad grin he continued doodling before finally finishing and excitedly holding it up for her to see.

"Captain, it looks like a hat with an odd circular veil, is it perhaps a beekeeper hat? Kurosaki has informed me of such things on the odd occasion I question him of the human world."

"No, silly girl! I call this... THE FLYING GUILLOTINE!" He was quite proud of his drawing. It was particularly deadly hat with the blades that would slice a hollow's head off easily.

"Was that not used (stationarily) in the French revolution for chopping off heads, Captain?" Nemu pondered for a moment, still unaware of his goals, but still letting him have his glory of his brilliance.

"Yes! I knew that brain I gave you wasn't for naught! Now let's go give this to someone heading for the human world once I make this!"

"Of course, Captain."

That afternoon it was sent out with the returning Shinigami representative for Karakura (no, not Afro guy): Rukia.

"Hey. Midget. Whatcha got there?"  
"The research division wants us to try this out."

Wincing from the kick he was given rather harshly, Ichigo nodded. His badge went off, as did Rukia's cell phone. With a nod to each other they popped a Soul Candy, grabbed the new contraption and made their way to the hollow.

Upon arrival, Ichigo actually followed Rukia's order to distract the hollow while she made her way to the head to toss the experiment on its head as she was told to do so.

Almost immediately it latched on and encircled its head. The two reapers leapt back, worried it would explode. However, instead a loud clanging sound was heard and finally, a thud as the head of the hollow hit the ground with the contraption.

The hollow made to disappear, but immediately sensed a human and possessed it with ease. Within minutes the human's skin had rotted and it's brain capacity had been severely diminished.

A bystander screamed. "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!" And crashed to the sidewalk unconscious while the possessed human munched on another's neck, turning the victim to an undead.

Ichigo and Rukia glanced at each other, horrified.

Then they woke up, gasping.

A text made its way to Rukia's phone, which she immediately read.

"I have a new test for you weak humans to try out! Nemu says it looks like a "beekeeper's hat" whatever that is. Next time you visit please visit to try it out! -Kurotsuchi"

"NOOOOOO!"

Day 10  
Let's talk about sheep and dreads!

"Tessai!" Renji called.

"?"

"How is it that you get your hair like that? What _is_ it actually?" The red haired, no filter on his mouth for politeness, man practically demanded.

The tall and gruff man stared down at him before motioning him to the table that often housed the impromptu Shinigami meetings.

"Let's get this straight. This a professional weave. Not that cheap shit from Walgreens." He casually stated in his usual low voice while flipping a few dreads over his shoulder. Renji froze, his mind yelling at him.

"This may have been the worst idea ever." He thought as Tessai continued to tell his story of his weaved hair.

"Rule number one with great hair like mine. Don't buy it from Walgreens. Order weaves from sheep in Scotland that have been protected from the Scottish." The dead serious tone of the man made Renji do a double take.

"_He's not serious… Right?_" An eyebrow was raised at the expense of the man before him. "_And how the hell are sheep related to weaves?_"

"Now here's some basic knowledge!"

An imperceptible groan from the pineapple head answered the uncharacteristically joyous tone of such a scary looking person.

"First of all. When one has a weave, a swimming cap must be worn in the pool or showering."

A grotesque look passed both their faces at the thought.

"Second of all. Bitches love weaves."

"Okay, wait. Back up. Whaaat? I've gone along with a lot of the crap you're spewing but seriously? What the hell are you say-" Renji was cut off as Rukia walked by looking for Urahara, but stopped to momentarily play with Tessai's hair. "I can't free load here anymore. I'll go insane."

"HA! HE ADMITS IT!" Shouted a hatted blond man from a few rooms away.

It was at that moment that Renji could have sworn he heard a "baa" noise. Jinta ran by the doorway. Closely followed by white fluffs.

Jinta yelled, "TESSAI, MAH SHEEP BE HERE!"

The man jumped up, "They were never yours to begin with!"

Rukia smirked at Renji and said, "gotta love da weave, man!"

A pale face answered her as he slowly got up and left the sheep like environment.

"Oh. Ururu, you're finally up." He heard Urahara say.

"Yes. Sleeping with sheep makes it easier to fall asleep since they're fine pillows." The dull voice answered.

Renji burst out of the room in nearly screaming. He came across the Kurosaki clinic and spent the night there peaceably.

"Hey Renji."

"Yeah?" He answered Yuzu.

"What does 'sheepish' even mean? Stand there and say 'baaa' while looking cute and fluffy? It's for my English- … Essay…"

The man had run out of the room like a bat out of hell screaming about the world having gone insane. Or something like that.

Inside the kitchen Ichigo smirked, "my plan worked. Maybe now he'll go back to the Soul Society."

Day 11  
[Caveat: This prank requires a light touch.] While your victims are sleeping, put bright red lipstick on one person's mouth. Smear lipstick across the face, neck, and mouth area of the other person(s). Everyone will wonder what went on while they were sleeping

The eleventh day of summer. Boredom has set in, and our dear characters, are quite a bit annoyed with the summer heat.

Of course, there are ways to cope with that! How, you ask? Why, by doing pranks!

Rukia has long since been a conniving little midget, the days in Rukongi often got boring, and since people disappeared after a while anyway, what better way to spend the days than doing pranks on innocent people?

One tall, orange haired man was sleeping on the couch in Urahara's house after training a bit with Renji. Rukia had done most of what she could think of, flitting in and out of the room with various objects. Renji watched from afar with Jinta and Ururu peeking from below his bent stance.

"What do you think she's doing…?" Jinta asked quietly as the dark haired woman walked across the hallway with a bucket of water and what looked to be ice cubes.

"Oh! Ooooh! Haha… That carrot top had all this coming." Renji grinned ear from ear, waiting for the next event. And he was rewarded with a loud scream and curses being thrown at Rukia as she ran from the room, nearly slipping in a small puddle from her carrying the bucket, laughing loudly.

Take two, Renji had a faint idea of what was coming next because Rukia was a creature of habit, ironically, he had done a similar prank, but Rukia was ahead of the game and one upped him, causing his reputation to go smashing into the ground for a good few months. This time, this time he was prepared, especially when he saw her walk into the room where Ichigo was once again sleeping with her fist clenched.

He walked across the hallway, silently and watched as she uncapped what was in her hand and covered her mouth to silence the giggles while she carefully painted areas of Ichigo's face and neck.

A couple hours later Ichigo woke up, feeling a weird sensation on his skin. He walked to the nearest reflective surface and saw some _very_ interesting marks. But he didn't scream, no, not this time, he couldn't. The amount of street cred he had built up would crumble in an instant.

He made his way to the kitchen and found a paper towel. He drowned it, and then began to wipe off the pinkish red marks.

"Whoa there man. What happened between you and Rukia?"

"Renji."

"Ichigo." A smirk was rather prominent on his face. "So you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Dude. I was asleep man. I don't even know who did this. But I have an inkling."

"An inkling." The smirk grew and he took a deep breath.

"You bastard. You wouldn't. Wait you kno-"

"HEY RUKIA. DIDJA HAVE A NICE MAKEOUT SESSION WITH ICHIGO? CUZ HE'S WIPING OFF ALL THE GLOSS AND LIPSTICK!"

"Oh god… I'm being molested in my sleep now." Ichigo growled as Rukia raced into the kitchen.

"WHAT? RENJI THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

"Oh? But you were running in and out of the room where he was!" Payback was beautiful and bountiful.

"I! I! SO I DUMPED COLD WATER ON HIM. AND SMEARED LIPSTICK ON HIM. I DIDN'T K-ki-kiss… Him…"

"Riiiight…" He leaned down to her level before walking away. "I saw _everything_."

She colored a brilliant shade of red as Ichigo turned to ponder the weird feeling on his lips, a dunce to the meaning behind it.

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Day 15

Day 16

Day 17

Day 18

Day 19

Day 20

Day 21

Day 22

Day 23

Day 24

Day 25

Day 26


End file.
